no shvong

I haven't posted in more than a little while because I'm a big fat white blob on the couch, one with crumbs at the corner of my mouth and crusty milk stains on my chin, one who feels that watching the biggest loser will somehow rub off on me and let me lose 75 pounds in 12 weeks even without Bob or Jillian shouting obseneties in my face, or even without ever setting foot on a treadmill. Ya. I'll let you know how that one goes.

For a while I was able to get my friend come over for some big love. She is the only other person in the world who gets as excited as I do about mormons, polygamists, prairie dresses and the fbi in one short sweaty breathless sentance. She would block off an hour in her outlook calendar and come over to the den of unemployment to see how Bill and Barb and Nikki and Margene where doing. But life has been getting in the way a little too often lately, and my friend has had to not come over for reasons her end, my end, or just because she went to wisconsin on holiday. Silly little things like that.

And so I miss the mormons and was therefore REALLY HAPPY when Oprah went down to theYearning for Zion ranch in Texas. The sharper pencils in the box will happen to know that Oprah did that oh, in about february...but when you live the otherside of the world, you find fedex takes its time delivering Oprah reels to second world countries.

Most people on the YFZ ranch hadn't even heard of Oprah. She was just some random black lady come by to ask funny questions like have you ever heard of somebody called Cinderella and Shrek and Shrek too. And people, as I lay on the couch and revelled in the world of totally brainwashed teenage girls, I at last felt complete. Until the credits rolled.

So what's next? I'm googling mormon underwear and hopefully I'll get my kicks in new temple undergarments.