Musings of an untrained mind

31 August

Today I:

• Wrote “International Salami Orgy” in my notebook

Madonna's chicken legs

28 August

Today I:

• Discovered that 2.5 years of mild flirting will not get you an invitation to cuteboy’s wedding.
• Furthered my agenda.
• Stopped kidding myself and had a bowl of chips.
• Checked email for results.
• Conceived a Fear Factor episode that I would win because I am the only person who would eat Madonna’s 50 year old legs in the Andes. “Naomi—evidently FEAR is not a FACTOR for you!” No, joe, not when it comes to Madonna’s 30 denier legs.

I have never seen the stormtrooper hit his head

27 August

Today I:

• Was late to work because I wanted to make sure the wonder pets got out of the whale’s stomach with the help of the puffer fish, the seahorse and the sea anenome.
• Confused everyone by breaking out of a 6-week black clothing pact with a very floral shirt and jeans
• Considered that if I walk with my husband holding onto my ankles (which might happen because he is raging against the machine because he thinks the machine has his keys in her handbag even though machine emptied her handbag out fully and could swear on the St James Holy Bible that they are not in there) I could burn even more calories than if I had each twin hanging on to one.
• Loathed well-meaners who take over an idle thought that crossed your mind out loud and created a list of action items out of it.
• Am willingly letting my sense of humour cloud better judgement on the wiki.
• Was an accidental valuable source to my cubemate.

Zebra begins

26 August

Today I:

• Flirted outright with the office tree surgeon, only to have it pointed out later in the day that he is wearing orange shoes and a pink shirt.
• Forgot the toilet seat is further away when wearing platforms
• Resisted the urge to pinch cuteboy’s butt when passing
• Channeled positive energy which makes people smile. Why do they humour me?
• Ignored the cleaner. We have never enjoyed a great love.
• Ate fried fish, oily rice, half a potato and a lettuce leaf whist convincing myself I am eating healthy.
• Listened to a Russian concall on speakerphone, Da.
• Was wondering who the woman was who left her bikini top tied to the rail outside the Caesarea hippodrome?