it's just another manic sunday

Reading the post of my friend’s drive to work has inspired me to describe my own journey from duvet to cube…

5.30 Alarm goes off. Try to get out of bed as quickly as possible to shut it up. Trip over small body entwined in my arms and the covers, and the slippers on the floor while the alarm, which is in my phone on the other side of the room to save my brain from night radiation (by order of the husband) is getting progressively louder and singing Mr Big Stuff…who do you think you are?

5.31 Alarm on snooze, phone radiating next to my head. NOT taking chances again.

5.31 Turn around and look at bed. No room to get back in as the small body is now taking up my half of the bed.

5.32 After moving small body to center, get in the side but by this time there isn’t enough of the duvet to cover my backside. Shiver.

5.39 Snoozed alarm strikes again. On a normal day, it would be shut up again. Today I have to work as long as possible before leaving early so I get up.

5.40 Stumble into bathroom. Relieve myself. Bring into focus heap of clothes on floor. Other small person obviously wet the bed.

5.42 Stumble into the washing machine. Literally. Stub toe. Cram in duvet, sheet, pjamas. Put on the hold cycle.

5.44-5.46 Bathroom stuff (contact lenses).

5.46-5.55 Standing in wardrobe trying to figure out costume for the day. Look for a particular jumper. Come across a different jumper bought at the beginning of winter that I forgot the existence of. Decide it’s too thin. Keep looking for clothes.

5.57 Start ignition in car. Drive round to gate. Fumble around for phone. Call the gate. Gate pretends it can’t see or hear me. Phone pretends it hasn’t got enough reception to make the call. Vvvvvvvvv down the window. Wave phone at the outside world. Call goes through; gate opens.

Left out of the parking ramp. Next left at newly landscaped central reservation of entrance to neighbourhood. Nice flowers and pebbles. Do I see them? No, I’m on mission: get to work. Also, it’s still nautical dawn.

Right at the bottom. Quick look left to check no-one’s coming. Arguably, that should have been done first. Next traffic lights are red. This early, there’s no reason for them to be. La la la, wait for no-one coming from the other direction to cross our side of the road. They don’t. The lights go green and I floor it.

Pass the dragon petrol station (realizing I have an eighth of a tank, I’ll fill up later) and right onto road 5. Weeeeeeeeee going down the ramp and coming up to cruising altitude of 130kph.

Notice that the skies are beautiful: a ribbon of golden light between the hills above Qasam village and where the clouds start (since the sun hasn’t risen yet).

Break suddenly when I notice the police. But they’re not noticing me so its ok. (Are they reversing on a motorway?! If I get fired, I am applying to the force.)

06.07 Drive into the still dark underground parking to take my usual spot. Yay! Nobody’s taking it today!

06.08 Clock in. Go up to the 5th floor.

06.09 Put the kettle and lights on.

06.10 Arrive at cubicle. Another week has begun.

Is life beautiful? Yes, because its monotonous, predictable, and nobody will notice I was 8 minutes late.