Murray retires, 3 get fired and 4 other people quit

30 October

Today I:

• No. of seconds it took to find "כ" on the keyboard: 12.
• OK, you explain it to me. We have a website that lists all of our books. But some are listed as NOT FOR SALE. NOT IN OUR INVENTORY. SO WHY ARE THEY ON THE SITE?? And others, like books that were repurposed for paper chains for our succah and had a life span for 3 hours, books which mummy promised and promised to replace straightaway—they are only available in puzzle book format. AND IT TAKES NO IMAGINATION TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO PUZZLE BOOKS IN THE SAME ROOM AS 4 YR OLD TWINS! (Not to mention, limited future repurposing possibilities).
• When I was 3, 4, and 5 years old I went to a school in Farnham, Surrey. My formative years at this school were marked by 3 traumatic events: 1. people stuffing lego into my pants (Surrey definition), 2. Some girl falling off the top of the climbing frame, and 3. failing my grade 1 ballet because the floor was wet and I slipped (that's my story and I'm sticking to it).
  What I did not appreciate at the time was the grooviness of one elderly spinster teacher who had us dancing (in a ring!) to Brown Girl in the Ring Tra La La La La and singing Mary's Boy Child at the Christmas concert. Mrs Fuller, you are undoubtedly dead now, but I salute you for giving me exceedingly cool memories to a Boney M soundtrack. There is no question in my mind that these selfless acts contributed to sowing the early seeds of a cool life.
• If you wait for 20 years. If a schmuck works in your open plan office. If that schmuck whistles. Only then, at that PRECISE MOMENT, do you think to yourself "Ahhhh. Now I get it". Guidlford High School Girls do NOT whistle. Because a whistling schmuck can irritate the bejesus out of you.
• Oh no you didn't: send an email to the whole department asking where your tripod is. If you can't find it…then you just aren't that well endowed!