I wish to apologise, people!

When moving the xmas tree table to find the plug for the xmas tree lights the other night, I *might* have mumbled something vague and incoherent about the xmas tree table being wedged to the wall by the sofa and the sofa being wedged to the xmas tree table by the fisher price garage and the fisher price garage being wedged to the sofa by the dining room table, henceforth when you try to plug in the lights you are faced with moving a train of furniture 5 times your body weight 4 centimeters. Just to plug in the xmas tree lights. And I just *may* have insinuated that I place the blame for all this wedging business firmly in the hands of my mother in law and *maybe maybe* I even took her name in vain. But I was facing moving a train of furniture 5 times my body weight 4 centimeters!

This was all kindly recorded for me by my angelic little daughter, who did not waste any time the following morning before telling the mother in law that mummy hates it when she touches things in the house and makes mummy a balagan* and touches mummy's things. I am not sure exactly what she said because I wasn’t there and have now heard the story 3 times and the things that were revealed to my mother in law by the holy truth according to my angelic little daughter changed each time.

But the message to my mother in law was as clear as a fog horn. And I have been reprimanded by the supreme court of in law injustice.

So, I would like to issue this PUBLIC apology on the internet which can be accessed by anyone and everyone and probably not ever my mother in law because she can’t read English and wouldn’t know what a blog was if it came up and bit her on the ass and that’s fine with me because the universe will know that I apologized publically and will ignore the fact that I can't face broaching the issue and grovelling on my hands and knees to beg her for forgiveness. Mother in law, I hereby apologize for mentioning that the way you tidy my house is anything less than perfect, and I really do appreciate you making order in the wild chaos of my home. Especially since my roommates are really fucking messy.

*balagan=mess/chaos
Note to self: watch more closely how you swear when the short people are around.